BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who is responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.
SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream, only to get screwed and die in the end.
CLM - Career Limiting Move - Used among
microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a huge CLM.
OHNO-SECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in
which you realize that you've just made a BIG
mistake.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking
the crap out of an electronic device to get it to
work again.
UMFRIEND - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Michael, my ... um, friend."
BODY NAZIS: Hard-core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work
out obsessively.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the Couch Potato.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
SQUIRT THE BIRD: To transmit a signal to a satellite.
STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property
and no regrets.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
TOURISTS: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. Example: "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
GOING POSTAL: Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.
CHIPS AND SALSA - Chips = hardware, salsa = software. i.e.: "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
G.O.O.D. Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
IRRITAINMENT - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O. J. trials, Ally McBeal, Monica Lewinsky, etc.
DEINSTALLED - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voice mail of a VicePresident at a downsized
computer firm: "You have reached the number of a deinstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance."
VULCAN NERVE PINCH - The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm reboot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key. Sometimes referred to as the THREE FINGERED SALUTE.
YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We owe $8 each, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps."
ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up
to the boss.
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